Jan 04 2009
Atomic Age Classics: Venereal Disease & You (Review)
Atomic Age Classics: Venereal Disease & You
As a man, I always wondered during sexual education in school what they told the girls. I’m guessing the teachers told them about menstration, proper hygene, and how babies don’t actually come from a cabbage patch. I’m sure they watched a movie about sexual intercourse as well. I may not know specifically which sexual education videos they watched, but I can almost guarantee they didn’t watch the ones present on “Atomic Age Classics: Venereal Disease & You”. How do I know? They were all from the World War 2 era and ridiculously outdated.
“With These Weapons” focuses on syphilis and how apparently one in twenty adults had it in 1939. There isn’t really much to say on this one considering they don’t really cover visual examples or symptoms of syphilis. This is surprising considering this film was originally meant for civic and church audiences to take action against the spreading of syphilis. The film really only covers the history, statistics and treatment of the disease. That’s all well and good, but it doesn’t really inspire me to pick up my condom-bound weapon and join in the war on STDs. Of all the sexual education films out there, this one is by far the most boring. This is one of the few that actually inspires young people to go out and get syphilis out of spite.
“Health is a Victory” moves us right along into gonorrhea. This film is told in the form of a factory lecture which perfectly simulates the boredom of an actual lecture. You can actually see the expression of fake interest in the audience. While the lecture does involve a doctor talking on a podium and drawing diagrams on a blackboard (which may have been considered risqué for it’s time), there is some nice stock footage and animation that rivals “With These Weapons” (including footage of a headline that simply reads ‘Death’). The film also stresses how big of a threat gonorrhea is compared to syphilis on a bar chart. There weren’t any measurements for the side axis, but the gonorrhea bar goes off the screen! That’s a huge bar and probably means something!
“A Message to Women” dispels the myth that only poor people get gonorrhea (even though statistically…never mind). The movie begins with a skit (which is a breath of fresh air after force-feeding information in the last few films) about a young woman who catches gonorrhea. The woman denies it and her mother denies it as well, claiming her daughter is not that kind of girl. She decides to learn more by attending ANOTHER LECTURE! Thankfully, this one has better animation, some hilarious b-roll footage, and it’s in color. Studies show cartoons are 10% more effective in color. There is also a really weird ending where a woman describes sexual responsibility through some kind of motivational posters. The main message of this film, which isn’t too surprising for a 40’s film, is don’t have sex until you are married. But once you are married, go hog wild.
“Story of the D.E. 733” (aka USS VD: Ship of Shame) is the longest, most enjoyable, and shocking film on the disc. It’s the most enjoyable movie on the disc since it tells an actual story. It’s the most shocking because they actually show pictures of STD infected penises (and they’re ‘uncut’ if you catch my drift). The story involves a group of men on a ship who don’t heed warnings about sexually transmitted diseases and they all have unprotected sex during shore leave. The doctor on the ship is the most likable character considering he rags on the soldiers for their stupidity in catching these diseases. Then, in the climax, a ship-to-ship battle breaks out and the men don’t perform at their best. The narrator really becomes annoying during this sequence since he keeps saying stuff like “did I say they were all performing at their best?” The boat doesn’t actually get shot down, but they come pretty close to losing the fight. I realized they did this so the captain could tell this story, but it would’ve made more of an example if they did die. Yeah, it’s a scare tactic of teaching sexual competency, but isn’t that what they were aiming for by showing the sick ding-dongs? This film is actually a reissued version with some footage edited out due to the dated methods of treating disease. That’s not to say the film itself is timeless. Since when was gonorrhea called Lover’s Guitar?
The lack of skits make this DVD hard to recommend, but the footage of infected willies in “Story of the D.E. 733” make it worth the price. It’s mostly for those who are interested in seeing how dated educational films on VD from WWII really were. Educationally it isn’t very effective by today’s standards, but the shocking footage of STD stricken sex sticks may scare off some teenage boys from intercourse for at least a year. And if they’re thinking about joining the NAVY, all the better for them to watch it.
