The DVD Dump

Pretty slow this week, but I’ve managed to round up a couple of direct-to-video pieces of shlock.

DVD Dump Pick of the Week

Black Swarm

Synopsis: Welcome to Black Stone, “The Township of Good Neighbors,” and now home to something a more ominous: a pack of intelligent—and deadly—genetically-modified wasps. Exterminator Devin Hall (Sebastien Roberts, Lucky Number Slevin) has seen a lot when it comes to peculiar insect behavior, but nothing like the swarm of wasps that descends on a homeless man and kills him. Amassing as a black swarm, they have a single, terrifying purpose: to kill. When the dark cloud descends, you haven’t got a chance. The Black Swarm is here.

Dead Noon

Synopsis: A shoot ‘em up western horror tale with ancient demons, walking skeletons and cowboy zombies. What more could you ask for?

Depth Charge

Synopsis:  A commander commandeers his own submarine with the help of mercenaries and hold the world hostage with the threat of nuclear war.

The Good Student

Synopsis: An unpopular high school teacher turns his life around after a student is kidnapped.

Grindhouse Double Feature: Flesh for Fantasy

Synopsis: Features the grindhouse movies Flesh Merchant and Blind Target.

Gym Teacher: The Movie

Synopsis:  Roland (“iCarly’s” Nathan Kress) is the new kid at Hamm Lake Middle School and there’s just no hiding he’s a super geek with no athletic ability. Dave Stewie (Emmy® Award-Nominee Christopher Meloni) is the school’s beloved gym teacher who once represented the U.S. in the Seoul Games, but his disastrous go-for-the-gold vault became one of sport’s biggest bloopers. After pressure to compete in the National Gym Class Fitness Competition, heat from the school’s principal (Amy Sedaris, Shrek the Third) and foul play from a rival school’s devious coach (David Alan Grier, TV’s “In Living Color”), turn them into a potentially disastrous duo - it’s going to take a major game changer to bring home the gold in this hilarious Nickelodeon original movie!

Jessica Sinclaire’s Thug Love

Synopsis: Destiny Charles is a 40-something advertising executive who has never really recovered from her difficult divorce 3 years ago.  Ambitious and career oriented, she has spent the last few years alone and is hesitant about starting any new relationships.  However, when she meets Troy, a handsome, streetwise artist that is half her age, all that changes.  Troy comes from the streets and knows how to get what he wants.  He has no past, and unconcerned about the future, he recklessly gets caught up in the world of urban decay which permeates his neighborhood. A true lost soul though not as tough as his exterior suggests, Troy will stop at nothing to convey his passion to Destiny.

Keith

Synopsis: Smart and popular high school senior Natalie (Elisabeth Harnois, TV’s One Tree Hill) thinks she has her life figured out but everything changes when she meets a mysterious boy with nothing to lose. International singing sensation Jesse McCartney (TV’s Summerland) is unforgettable as Keith in his first major feature film role. Offbeat and free-spirited, Keith takes Natalie on a deliriously wild journey unlike anything she’s ever experienced. But he’s got a dark secret… one that becomes Natalie’s obsession to uncover.

Killer Movie

Synopsis:  In the world of reality TV, producer Seaton Brookstone (Carbonell) is used to handling spoiled celebrities, testy crews and unexpected setbacks. But no one is prepared when the shooting crew finds itself stranded in the remote northern town of White Plains with a killer on the loose. As past suspicions, betrayals and secrets are revealed, the nightmare of shooting this reality show becomes all too real for Director Jake Tanner (Wesley), his crew and his sexy Hollywood celebrity Blanca Champion (Cuoco).

Man of Her Dreams

Synopsis: No synopsis available at this time, but based on the cover, I’d say its a romantic African-American comedy.

Nanny Insanity

Synopsis:  Marsha and David McMIllan are your typical stressed out, married couple with a baby on the way, so they hired a Russian nanny to restore some sanity in their lives. She dressed a bit odd… leather, studs and stilettos, and seemed to have quite a few late night appointments, but hey, nannies are hard to find, so they looked the other way…. that is, until they got quite a different surprise.

Private Valentine

Synopsis: Megan Valentine was America’s sweetheart. But her latest movie is a bomb, and a crooked accountant has left her broke. So she’s doing what anyone else would do - joining the Army. Now, there’s no star treatment, no stunt doubles and no second takes. But with the help of the other recruits, she’ll find the motivation she needs to be all she can be and make it through basic training with style. Also starring Vivica A. Fox, Steve Guttenberg, Olesya Rulin, Cheri Oteri and Jill Marie Jones.

Small Town Folk

Synopsis: There is a place… a place called Grockleton, wherein, high on a hill-top stands the lonely Beesley’s Manor, governed by the villainous ‘Landlord’ and his lowly male counterparts (Pooch, Pike and the diesel-swilling Dobbin). Always on the look-out for new female company to help carry on the Beesley name, the Landlord keeps a watchful eye over Grockleton and anyone who dares to enter his land. When three improbable heroes stumble unsuspectingly into the Beesley’s realm they are cruelly snared into a menacing hunt and an unstoppable frenzy of heart racing mayhem! Will the Landlord triumph and collect his ‘trophies’ (and maybe even a future bride?), or can the unlikely trio be victorious against him in his own game?

Space Buddies

Synopsis: Disney’s irresistible talking puppies are back in an all-new movie that takes them where no Buddy has gone before the moon! With the help of some stellar new friends, this out-of-this-world adventure is one small step for dog, one giant leap for dogkind. Moving at warp speed, dodging asteroids and more, the Buddies and their two new friends, Spudnick and Gravity, must summon their courage and ingenuity to launch plans for a moon landing and a rocketing trip back home. Will they have the right stuff?

T.A.C.T.I.C.A.L.

Synopsis:  The men and women who set out to protect and serve find they must often deceive to solve the case. Following the riveting hunt of a helpless murder witness, the deadly war between the Special Forces and the drug lords rages on. Amidst this ongoing battle, murders are committed, hits are made, and the chances of survival shrink minute by minute.

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