The DVD Dump

Afro Ninja Destiny

Remember that dirt old internet video of the black guy who couldn’t quite do a flip? Well, now he has his own movie. Yes, it seems that YouTube-ry has spilled into the DTV market. Still waiting for that Star Wars Kid movie though.

DVD Dump Pick of the Week:

Chrysalis

If the Six Million Dollar Man and Blade Runner had a baby, it would be this movie. But since it wasn’t released theatrically, it was probably picked on by it’s big brothers Total Recall and Minority Report. What am I writing about?

Dark Reprieve

Two people wake up in an old and shut down prison not knowing why they are in such a place. Horror and terror soon follow. So, it’s kind of like Saw except…Saw had a bigger budget?

Kill Zone

Fugitive Prescott Roeh is hoping to make ammense for his horrible crimes. But not everybody is ready to accept him. What will happen when he if forced to live with his mother-in-law in the form of a talking dog? Okay, I made that last part up. I write something in there to jazz it up.

The Life of Lucky Cucumber

What started as a hokey plot for two filmmakers to follow around an uncommonly lucky fellow turns into a buddy comedy with drug addicts and mental patients thrown in for comic relief.

Lost Souls

Three girls must defeat the evil human smuggler Mr. Hok. As you might have guessed from the trailer, this is good old fashioned exploitation.

My Zinc Bed

Alcoholism has never been more erotic. Well, Uma Thurman helps as well.

Rappas

Nothing could be more funny the world of amatuer rap artists. Thank goodness we still have movies that aren’t afraid to crack jokes about how white people can’t rap. I was beginning to think we were still afraid to say it.

Return of the Outlaws

It’s one small-town sherrif against a gang of outlaws. I really wish there were a better way to explain the plot than that.

Revenge of the Boarding School Dropouts

Tom Green and Dave England continues to ride the coattails of Jackass fame by starring in a movie about how fame can go to your head. The irony is incredible.

Walled In

As Sam Walczak supervises the demolision of an old building, she soon learns of the horrible past behind the building and accepting her dark past relating to the building in order to surviv-WAIT, this is House on Haunted Hill isn’t it?

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