The DVD Dump

American High School

It’s high school with a college twist. I realize that there are some liberties to be taken with teen comedies, but having a bunch of teens get married and then have a clique try to break them up? This is crap that even the American Pie franchise would scoff at.

Ba’al: The Storm God

An archaeologist uncovers amulets which causes Ba’al the Storm God to unleash his Michael Bay disaster fury upon the Earth. Seems like standard sci-fi direct-to-video stuff, but the trailer is really selling me on this one.

Chain Link

A man out of prison attempts to connect with his estranged son. The trailers looks decent, but a good soundtrack can do that for any trailer. Johnny Cash could make the Sex and the City movie trailer look awesome…I think.

Dark Secrets

Detective/horror movie in the vain of Saw and Seven. Only the person kinapped is the daughter of a celebrity couple so it gets more media attention.

Donkey Punch

A sexy cruise turns into a sexy bloody cruise when somebody dies and everybody goes paranoid. It sounds awesome, but seriously? Donkey Punch? Donkey Punch! The movie is called Donkey Punch! Donkey Punch!

Faith Like Potatoes

Everything seems crappy for a farmer who moves to South Africa until he finds Jesus. Based on a true story so I can’t make fun of it. Wait, he is wearing a kilt! AHAHHahah…dammit!

The Fog

A Bollywood thriller? And it’s called the Fog? The story is almost identical to the of the original “horror” movie. They can’t even come up with a clever Bollywood title than that?

Shuttle

A simple ride home with a stranger turns into a hostage situation. A movie that combines the cramped space peril and stupidity of Speed with all the stupidity of Phone Booth.

Sin

Another Bollywood thriller? Is there some new trend happening here that I’m not getting?

DVD Dump Pick of the Week

Swamp Devil

If Swamp Thing were a badass monster villain, this would be his movie. Despite being a Sci-Fi Channel movie, it’s pretty awesome. And Sci-Fi Channel movies are almost never awesome.

Vinyan

A couple risks it all to save their six-year-old son in a horrific jungle. That’s some fine parenting skills.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS