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Archive for July, 2009

Jul 14 2009

DVD Dump New Releases: July 14, 2009

Beach Kings

Forget football! There is nothing more manly and hardcore than volleyball.

 

DVD Dump Pick of the Week:

The Butcher

Proving you can be a deadbeat who never pays anyone back as long as you can fire a gun.

 

Dakota Skye

Sure, a snarky teenager can BELIEVE she sees through lies. Still, if that truly is her power, then she is the lamest X-Men character ever.

 

 

Grey Gardens

Drew Barrymore looks crazy in this one. Not cute crazy, just crazy crazy.

 

Horsemen

From the director who watched all the Saw movies and played all the Silent Hill games.

 

Van Wilder: Freshman Year

Have we officially declared National Lampoon unfunny yet?

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Jul 08 2009

Wonder Woman (2009 Review)

Published by madnessmark under Movie Reviews Edit This

WONDER WOMAN

Featuring the voices of Keri Russell (Waitress) and Nathan Fillion (Serenity)

Of all the characters in the DC universe, I was never a big fan of Wonder Woman. Let’s face it; her character is an uber-feminist female Superman. And according to Justice League writer Dwayne McDuffie, she’s also the most expensive character to use. So I wasn’t too thrilled about a Wonder Woman animated movie, but I was cleverly surprised by this one. Not surprised enough that Wonder Woman is now my favorite superhero or my opinion of her has changed, but enough to be as entertaining as the previous DC animated movies if not more so.

Taking place before the birth of Diana (who becomes Wonder Woman), the film opens with a large scale battle of Amazons versus Ares. Ares loses after one of his family members is murdered and Zeus sentences him to jail time on the Amazon’s hidden island of
Themyscira, where you are eternally young (insert Peter Pan joke here). Fast forward to the present time when a US Air Force pilot, Steve Trevor, crash lands on Themyscira. At first he is ecstatic to be on an island full of eternally young women, except the women of Themyscira don’t really like men…at all. After all, the last one they saw was Ares, the god of war. During Steve’s presence on the island, Ares escapes thanks to a jailer-prisoner romance. So now the Amazons must deal with returning Steve to his home and bringing Ares back to jail. These tasks are appointed to Diana who, after disobeying her mother and competing in a contest of strength, becomes Wonder Woman. She dawns the ridiculous red, gold, and blue attire which, in comparison to other armor of the Amazons, looks silly. Don’t get me wrong, it certainly allows for maximum maneuverability, but it’s still hard to take someone seriously in a one-piece with boots and a tiara.

Most of the movie is a fish-out-of-water romance story between Steve Trevor and Wonder Woman which works surprisingly well. Of course, Wonder Woman beats us over the head several times how women can be better than men. The moment she gets to America she teaches a little girl how to fight boys. Thank goodness there is a character like Steve in this movie that doesn’t just act as a counter-point to Wonder Woman, but thinks more logically than she does. He’s saying what were all thinking be it his reaction to the Amazons or his major feminist problems Wonder Woman.

Of course, the movie is more than just a tale of Amazon meets American. Ares’ plot to take over the world serves its purpose of providing some nicely animated action scenes. Even though the logistics behind his plot (that rage and violence in the world makes him stronger) seem a bit heavy-handed in it’s message about war and peace. Not to mention his master plan for destroying Themyscira is not all that impressive for a god of war. But the film does have a strong climactic battle with an army of Amazons fighting a zombie army in Washington DC while Wonder Woman and Ares duke it out. The battles are very impressive, well-animated, and, as I stated previously, isn’t afraid to show some blood or sever some limbs. After all, if you have an army of sword-wielding Amazons, somebody is losing a head.

A-MOVIE RATING SYSTEM:

-Full Retail Price

-Bargain Bin

-Rental

-Skip This Bitch 

While I still think Wonder Woman is an overly feminist superhero with dorky accessories that make Aquaman look cool, this movie was very fun to watch with its great battles, good character chemistry, and lots of the elements of mythology. In other words, it’s an animated action movie that’s a bit ridiculous, but not ridiculously bad. I was just surprised a Wonder Woman movie could even be made this well. If WB can do this well with Wonder Woman, I’d love them to take a whack at making a whack at Aquaman.

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Jul 06 2009

DVD Dump New Releases: July 7, 2009

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Applause for Miss E

A heart-warming comedy about mom trying to break into comedy. But apparently it’s a controversial stage play?

Border Town

A modern western of a dude who just wants his daughter who was taken by a pimp. Now he’ll take everything. And that’s the movie’s actual tagline.

A Day in the Life

What kind of name is Sticky Fingaz? Is that what passes as a gangster name in this day and age?

Dead Wood

If you’ve never seen Wrong Turn or Blair Witch Project or Deliverence, you’ll probably think this is a real original and awesome movie.

Evil Bong 2: King Bong

Dammit, Charles Band! I knew you were no Sam Raimi when it came to horror, but why did you make a movie that was nothing but half-asked weed jokes? Do you even look at your movies after completing them? That puppet bong makes your special effects in the Puppet Master series look like ILM.

Five Fingers

Am I the only one who can’t buy Fishbourne’s accent in this movie?

Flying By

Billy Ray Cyrus, fresh off his role in the Hannah Montana movie, plays a middle aged dad who must decide between his family and his dreams of being a rock star. Although being married to Heather Locklear would seem like a deal breaker, she’s such a bitch in the trailer I’d leave her to pursue a dream of working at a video store.

Garrison

Inspired by the Fort Bragg murders of 2002, Garrison actually looks like a capable thriller.

DVD Dump Pick of the Week:

Night Train

What happens when you combine three strangers, a dead body, and a box full of diamonds? A crazy ditch-the-body-take-the-money movie with a chance to see some real acting from Danny Glover and Steve Zahn.


The Prodigy

Okay, I can be pretty lenient sometimes with animation being on a budget (I know what it’s like to animate in 3D), but this is unforgivable. Just watch the scene posted below and watch as NOTHING in the clip works well.

See Dick Run

Kel Mitchell must track down the women he slept with last night. Why? Apparently one of them is a succubus who stole his genitals. Yep, it’s Dude, Where Is My Dick.

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