Farm House

The war between those who live on farms and those who don’t live on farms continues in this…psychological thriller?

Filth and Wisdom

Madonna directs her first film filled to the brim with thick accents, boobs, and rock music. But not in an awesome way.

The Hills Run Red

Of all the places to look for an obscure horror film, why the woods?

Lies and Illusions

Christian Slater and Cuba Gooding Jr star in this action…thriller….comedy? What the hell is this?

The Lost and Found Family

How could you evict this family? They’re sooooooooo cute!

The Shortcut

An Adam Sandler produced horror movie? Um…okay.

Steam

I’ve read 5th grade book reports with better writing than this.

DVD Dump Pick of the Week:

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies

Batman and Superman are hunted down villains after calling Lex Luthor a meanie.

ALSO THIS WEEK…

More 4-Film-Favorites Packs: Still picking off the corpse of New Line Cinema, Warner Bros releases another batch of movie collections this time including the Blade and Police Academy franchises.

Adam Resurrected

Jeff Goldblum is pretty creepy…why didn’t he get into horror movies?

Albino Farm

The Hills Have Eyes…and they’re RED!

Clive Barker’s Book of Blood

Looks like a standard ghost horror, but I’ll watch anything by Clive Barker.

The Dread

Remember, you college kids. Saw is a horror movie done by trained professionals. Don’t try it out at school.

Edges of Darkness

Camcorder quality horror, but it gets points for being the most subtle trailer I’ve seen today.

The Haunted World of El Beasto

If Rob Zombie teamed up with Walt Disney, Bambi’s mom would’ve died a hell of a lot worse.

Mercy Streets

Crime and religion collide in a ho-hum drama.

Reverend I’m Available Too

A Tyler Perry fan-movie.

Scooby Doo! The Mystery Begins

I really don’t want to know the see of Scooby Doo. Nor do I wish to see the origins of Snagglepuss, Top Cat, Huckleberry Hound, Yogi Bear, The Neptunes, The Chan Clan or any other Hanna-Barbera cartoon. We never needed one before, why do we need one now?

Sugisball

Not sure about this one, but it’s German so of course it has sex in it.

DVD Dump Pick of the Week:

Wallace & Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death

Dogs before hogs, bro.

ALSO THIS WEEK…

The Howling Trilogy: Ever wonder why there aren’t werewolf movies? It’s mainly because of The Howling  2 & 3.

Barbie and the The Three Musketeers

Because when I think of gender breaking roles, I think Barbie.

Blood and Bone

For the guy who loves UFC, but wants a little more street cred to go with it.

Bodyguard: A New Beginning

Been awhile since we’ve seen a new kung-fu triad film. I’m not saying it’s great, just refreshing.

Camille

As if this girl weren’t annoying enough, now she is undead. Also, more David Carradine.

Deadgirl

The most horrifying element of all: growing up.

DVD Dump Pick of the Week:

Four Dragons

A bunch of Chinese immigrants GOTTA FIGHT! YOU GOTTA FIGHT!

Grace

Vampire babies must be a bitch to breast feed.

Mail Order Bride

A misleading title for a typical Hallmark movie.

Rumba

Um….what?

Treeless Mountain

Kids being kids in China. What? They all can’t be witty!

Truth Hall

You know, there are days I really hate doing this blog.

Also this week…

-Drive-In Madness Vol. 1, Campy Classics: More goofy films from the time when people watched movies in their car. Okay, we will still watch movies in cars, but…you know what I mean.

-Dragonball Volume 1: More fantasy kung-fu in a fantasy world with fantasy characters doing fantasy things. Oh, and lots of screaming.

-Visitor Q (Re-Release): The Takeshi Miike film so disgusting it was banned in New Zealand. I’ll be picking this one up!

Labor Day is over and all is quiet on the DTV front.

Devil Girl

Who knew stripping in trucker country could turn so ugly?

Diamond Dawgs

More gangsters, more rappers, more problems.

Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story

Cuba Gooding Jr reprises his role as the black man who makes a difference in the world.

I’ll Believe You

Aliens make first contact on a radio show backed up by B-list comedians.

Local Color

The Finding Forrester of painting. I wish I could say this looks awesome, but even the synopsis is cliche.

The Nail

An imprisoned boxer and a misfit kid learn from eachother and ‘fight for the right’.

ALSO THIS WEEK…

Horror 3-Packs: From Dusk Till Dawn, Halloween, and Scary Movie trilogy sets.

Summer is over! However, just because you’ll be freezing your butt off this fall does not mean you can’t find a good movie to snuggle in with. And if new Hollywood blockbusters aren’t your thing, here is more of the latest direct-to-video shlock ready to make a quick buck off the easily impressionable.

Bring It On: Fight to the Finish

I guess based on the setup you could call these sports movies, but I still won’t.

Drifter: Henry Lee Lucas

No trailer for this one, but just listen to how fascinated Antonio Sabato Jr sounds to be playing serial killer Henry Lee Lucas.

Good Dick

A lonely video store clerk meets a lonely movie-watching girl. The dude loves her, but the chick hates him despite his large penis. Why am I writing this?

DVD Dump Pick of the Week

Humanity’s End

GIANT BIG-ASS SHIPS WAGE GIANT BIG-ASS BATTLES IN A GIANT BIG-ASS SCIENCE FICTION MOVIE….that only cost $140,000?

Impact

A meteor shower turns the moon into our enemy! And the plots of Armageddon and Deep Impact merge into a standard sci-fi plot. Wait, did the announcer just say ‘get ready to experience the dark side of the moon’? Ugh.

Meteor

Dammit, I already mentioned Deep Impact with the last movie. Well, here is another rip-off.

Randy & The Mob

There was a script leftover for Ernest & The Mob, but since John Vernon is dead, they had to recast and retitle it.

ALSO THIS WEEK…

-Blaxploitation Bonanza:  Lots of double-disc sets for blaxploitation favorites including Truck Turner, Blackula, Coffy, etc.

-More TCM Classic Film Collections: This time some real interesting ones including sets for science fiction (Solyent Green, The Time Machine, Forbidden Planet, 2001) and horror (Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde, Freaks, The Haunting, House of Wax).