The DVD Dump

Afterwards

TURN DOWN THE BRIGHTNESS!

Angel and the Badman

John Wayne would spin in his grave if he knew the guy from 90210 was starring a remake of his movie.

Battlestar Galactica: The Plan

More Cylons! Too bad it’s a small side story spanning across all four seasons.

For Sale By Owner

What’s next? Closed for Maintenance? Dammit, they’re probably going to make that now.

Into Temptation

Proving once and for all that priests can put an end to prostitution. As for underage sex…

Perestroika

Leave Moscow, get labeled a traitor, return a hero.

Stan Helsing

You know, I really like the horror icons of the 1980’s. Now if only they would team up in a—TOO LATE, the Scary Movie producers got to it first.

Tinker Bell and the Lost Treasure

Unless Tink travels to Mordor and battles Eragon, I’m not interested.

DVD Dump Pick of the Week:

X-Cross

The Battle Royale director returns to offer up an Asian version of Deliverance with a gothic lolita flavor.

Crush(ed)

This movie proves that you don’t need a steady job or a steady diet to bag a hot wife. Except I already learned that from King of Queens so this looks kind of boring.

Gnaw

That reminds me. Thanksgiving is almost here.

The Haunted Airman

Looking like he hasn’t slept since the last Twilight movie, Robert Pattinson plays a pilot (yes, a pilot) who just can’t get a decent night of sleep.

How to Be a Serial Killer

Either the director never saw the show Dexter or he watched too much of it. Although this does seem like a humorous version of Mr Brooks, but nobody remembers that movie so it looks very original.

Hurricane in the Rose Garden

Why does this feel like Diary of a Mad Black Woman without Madea? Why am I longing for Madea now?

DVD Dump Pick of the Week:

Infestation

In case you missed summer, here is a movie that perfectly simulates watching fireworks near a mosquito-infested lake.

Jada

Um….yeah. I’d make a joke here, but I’ve feel I’ve already made it…several, several times.

The Killing Room

Do you love the Saw series, but want a more convoluted plot? Have I got a movie for you.

Mr. Art Critic

How much of a-hole do you have to be to be a snobbish art critic and claim anybody can make art?

An Old Fashioned Thanksgiving

Boooooooooooooring.

Okay, there is a LOT of DVDs this week. Yeah, every week there are a lot of DVDs, but most of them are usually TV series, instructional videos, or re-releases I don’t cover. So I’m going to plow through these as fast as possible, considering most of these are Halloween DVDs.

Assassination of a High School President

Bruce Willis busts into a high school movie, thus saving the film from obscurity.

Aussie & Ted’s Great Adventure

Another damn dog movie. And they DROOL!

Bigfoot

Bigfoot with an I-pod. That is all.

Cameron Romero’s Staunton Hill

George Romero’s son delivers a big F-you to dad by making another lost-in-the-woods-and-assaulted-by-redneck horror movie.

The Children

Brought to you by the Abortion Foundation.

Children of the Corn

The horror classic is back looking goofier than ever. Thanks, SyFy.

Disappearing in America

Immigrant fugitive turned American slave. No, he isn’t working at Blockbuster Video

Donna on Demand

Who the heck would watch a webcam without any nudity, sex, or somebody pissing?

Fast Track: No Limits

Another *yawn* street racing movie. No extreme car chases or action sequences, just racing.

High Noon

Nora Roberts movie. Nuff said.

It’s Alive

A killer baby…kills? Is this abortion week or something?

Mirageman

Mexican Batman.

Northern Lights

ARG! More Nora Roberts! NEXT MOVIE!

Offspring

A sort-of zombie movie?

The Seamstress

Creepy person in the woods seams people’s mouths shut. Although if those people are mostly dumb teenagers, this is a public service.

Seventh Moon

There goes China’s tourism, as if the country doesn’t have enough problems already.

Tribute

DAMMIT, MORE NORA ROBERTS!

DVD Dump Pick of the Week:

Trick ‘r Treat

The only movie you need to see this Halloween.

Where is Winky’s Horse?

You know there really aren’t enough movies with girls loving horses…
The Wild Stallion

…I spoke too soon.